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Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

Home Alone.

Usually when my husband travels I really have my act together. House is spotless, meals are prepared, workouts are done, relaxing ensues…

 

 

Ok, besides that fact that I sleep on the couch because it is easier to escape an intruder than if I had to jump out of my 2-story bedroom window. Aside from that, I’ve got it all together.

 

This week was quite different. As I tweeted my life away, I was a complete wreck. Dishes left in the sink and all over the place. Clothes thrown everywhere. Toilet paper and paper towel racks lacking said paper. No cooking. Scraping leftover oreo crust from a baking dish for dinner. Dragging myself out of bed. Leaving green monsters stewing in my warm bedroom. Talk about being in a funk.

 

 

 

I’ve been brainstorming ways to feel more secure. My brother comes to stay with me, but I don’t feel like waiting on him hand and foot while he mooches homemade dinners off of me interrupting his life.

 

 

 

Of course, I thought that a security system may help me feel more secure. Then decided we didn’t need the expense. I’d rather buy shoes. And lobster.

 

 

 

 

Perhaps a dog? I begged for one for 5 minutes, then remembered we are never home. And that we have a new house with new carpeting. And then decided I’d rather get a dog when I have 4 rugrats who won’t can take of the dog like my siblings and I never did.

 

 

 

 

 

Yesterday I had an ‘aha!’ moment. A motion detector! Then I’d really feel safe around here. And when the motion detector came on every 5 minutes because there are deer in the yard? Oh. Hmmm..ok. Not so much.

 

 

 

 

I think I’ve figured it out.

 

 

 

 

I need my own personal security guard at the house. Perfect. Just a few days a month. Not a huge expense. Kind of like a rent-a-cop at the mall. But I want a cute one. Boy, those rent-a-cops are harrassed, aren’t they?? 

 

 

 

 

And along with my security guard, I’d like 3 half-dressed figures, preferably resembling George Clooney, Mario Lopez and David Beckham, to fan me and feed me grapes while I lie on a fluffy, cashmere, velvet bed shopping online for shoes. I would feel SO secure. Not only would I have my own rent-a-cop, but I’d have 3 beefcakes to stare at keep me safe.

 

 

 

Oh, and I’ll make sure to keep the house looking like it does below, because who wants to scour through a mess when you are trying to burglarize a house???

 

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(in the corner would be a box for my new crackberry that I got…2 weeks ago)

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(all of those veggies I bought to cook for the week….sure did go to good use)

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(please don’t notice residual oreo crumbs from said oreo crust dinner)

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(don’t even ask what is on that plate. I don’t remember what I ate last Monday)

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(at least oreo baking dish is not available for dinner anymore)

 

 

 

 

 

 

(my floor. enough said.)

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(..wtf..?)

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(4 weeks worth of laundry)

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Not thoroughly disgusted with me yet? Head on over to Julie’s blog to find out what my fitness secrets are. 

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 Happy Monday! 🙂

 

Well, not a very happy Monday for me because it started off with a dentist appointment. I usually do not mind going because there are many things in life worse than the dentist. However, today I was told I have about 8 zillion cavities and will be spending the next few Friday’s in the dentist chair. Hip hip horray.

 

 

 

Thank you all so much for the well wishes on our first anniversary. 🙂 We spent the day in Cleveland and I was all ready to snap pictures, but my camera decided otherwise. It gave me some goofy ‘lens error’ message – but of course was working again by the time we go home. I saw sooo many beautiful Fall scenes that I wanted to snap.

 

 

 

Something occured over the weekend that had us all in giggles and remembering Mother Lovett. For as long as I can remember, Mother Lovett pronounced about 85% of her words incorrectly and used other phrases that we never heard. I think it is common as we get older, but her’s were always quite humorous.

 

Some favorites:

ML: ‘I found a coupon in the paper for Louie’s. I’d like to go get some pots for the flowers.’

Us: ‘Louie’s? What is Louie’s? Where is Louie’s?’

ML: (getting frustrated) ‘You know – LOUIE’S. The construction place!’

Us: ‘There is no construction place called Louie’s. What on earth are you talking about?’

ML: ‘YES THERE IS!! It is blue and white and we get flower pots there.’

Us: (after a few moments of contemplation) ‘Oh…you mean Lowe’s? LOWES.’

ML: ‘No! Louie’s! Look it is right here in the paper.’

 

She definitely meant Lowe’s. She was legally blind. The w appeared as a ‘u’ and ‘i’ to her. Hmmm.

 

 

 

Us: ‘Grandma, can we get you anthing at the store?

ML: ‘Oh yes, please get me some of that torillo soup.’

Us: ‘You mean tortilla soup?’

ML: ”Yes – torillo soup.’

 

 

 

 

Baking cookies:

ML: ‘Hand me the lifter.’

Me: ‘The lifter? What is the lifter?’

ML: ‘The lifter! To get the cookies off the pan.’

Me: ‘Oh…the spatula??’

ML: ‘Yes! The lifter!’

 

 

These are just a few of the moments that we were remembering in the car ride that had us howling. Maybe you had to be there.

 

Kind of like the time you probably had to be there when my 9 year old brothers thought it was hilarious to yell out obscenities and bodily parts since she was extremely hard of hearing.

 

The boys: (randomly) ‘Vagisil!’

ML: ‘What fell??’

 

 

 

Oh, these were the days. Luckily for us, we experienced a similar day in the car on Friday. I was a bit busy playing on my crackberry since I develop a tick when I’m not connected to the entire world.

 

 

My mother: ‘Jess, we had the best lunch at Miss Martha’s. It was so good. And afterwards we had dessert and Susie orded a tai chi. It wasn’t very good though.’

Me: (half-listening, obsessed with crackberry) ‘Oh that’s a shame.’

My mother: ‘Yeah, and it really just didn’t taste good. We have all had tai chi there before, but this definitely wasn’t tai chi.’

Me: (still losing brain cells) ‘Hmmm, I wonder why..?’

My mother: ‘It just tasted weird, we always get tai chi there. Have you ever had one? You have -‘

Me: (alert, cutting in) ‘WAIT. WHAT are you saying? Tai chi?? Do you mean CHAI TEA???

My mother: ‘Yes, tai chi.’

Me: ‘MOM. OHMIGOD. It is CHAI TEA. Tai chi is a form of martial arts.’

My mother: ‘Oh. I guess you’re right. I meant chai tea.’

Me: ‘Ohmigod, you are your mother.’

 

 

At dinner:

My mother: ‘Can we go to Nordstrom Shelf tomorrow?’

Us: ‘Ummm….MOM, it’s Nordstrom RACK.’

 

 

 

So happy that Mother Lovett can live on throughout my own mother. Now if that starts happening to me, please have me committed.

 

 

 

 

I bought some of this yesterday.

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Which obviously now has to be locked in a safe, since I have 45 cavities and from here on out will never eat sugar again.

 

 

 

Yeah, right. Bring on the veneers.

 

 

 

 

 

I bought some of this, too.

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Going to try out some of the recipe suggestions and eat more veggies this week. My husband is out of town.

 

 

Sometimes I go a little overboard.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And bought this $459 bottle of balsamic vinegar.

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Actually it was only $24. But in balsamic vinegar dollars, that equals $459.

 

 

 

 

Have a wonderful start to the week. 🙂

 

 

 

I’ll be back later with some goodies. In the meantime, I’m going to eat 5lbs of goodies before I get my new fillings.

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The First Year.

Last weekend, my hubby and I went to a very non-traditional wedding. It was outdoors (talk about freezing!), where the bride and groom were married by a professional actor and the music came from a boom box.

 

I took away so much from this day – that it isn’t about having a traditional cake (they had cupcakes) or about wearing the most glamourous dress. These 2 people were SO in love. And while I already knew that the above doesn’t make for a happy marriage, it was so refreshing to see a couple so in love that they barely were aware of their surroundings.

 

The food was INCREDIBLE. Hands down – the best wedding food I have ever eaten. The main course was butternut squash ravioli and bone-in lightly fried chicken breast. Ohmigosh, I can taste it now. Incredible. The cake, or ‘cupcakes’ were amazing as well – so amazing that before the reception even started my husband grabbed one and confidently walked across the room shoving it in his mouth.

 

He ATE their wedding cake BEFORE they even cut it.

 

Before the reception had began. I guess he really just isn’t up to speed on modern weddings. Oh well.

 

 

I guess I have to forgive him.

 

 

Because today marks our ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY! One year ago today it was a gorgeous, clear 78 degrees in Pittsburgh. I squeezed into a dress that, I pray to God, I will be able to fit in for the rest of my life.

 

Today we are spending our anniversary in Cleveland, Ohio because my youngest brother is on John Carroll University’s homecoming court. Cross your finger’s for the win.

 

 

I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve mentioned before how amazing my entire family is, so the addition of my perfect hubby just made it even more amazing. And I think they all agree. Sure, we will have a romatic date, perhaps a weekend away soon, but I like celebrating this day with family – just like we did one year ago.

 

 

We had a very traditional, perfect-to-me, wedding. And I did stop and pinch myself a few times that day and remind myself to relish in the moment. I did as best I could. In honor our anniversary, I’d like to share with you some of my favorite pictures from that day – one of the best of my life!

(Note: all photos were taken by the incredibly talented David Burke. If you are in Pittsburgh or need a destination photographer, I’d highly suggest using him. He is fabulous!)

 

A kiss from my grandma. With Mother Lovett squeezing in the picture on the lower right.

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My shoes.

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Grandparents.

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Mother Lovett with my brothers.

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Seconds before going down the aisle.

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The church.

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One of my all-time favorite photos.

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Honky Tonk Ba Donk a Donk.

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Man & Wife.

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Do you think I like pink?

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More faves.

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A table with our favor – a donation to the local food bank.

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Our cake – chocolate cake with chocolate fudge filling, white chocolate icing and white chocolate curls.

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I wanted it to look like someone puked pink all of the room. It did.

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The cookie room.

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Ok, I’ve heard this is a ‘Pittsburgh thing.’ I have no idea. Does anyone else have cookie tables? I needed a room. Because I’m a pig.

 

 

 

 

 

 

First dance.

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The other man in my life.

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Some necessary partying.

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See ya later!

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FRA-GEE-LAY.

Fragile.

 

 

 

I’m sure you all remember the scene in A Christmas Story when the LEG LAMP arrived in the box marked ‘Fra-gee-lay?’

 

 

If you don’t recall, Ralphie’s mom really wasn’t a fan.

 

 

 

That is how Mr. Hunt felt a few weeks ago when I brought home this gorgeous specimen.

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I love this lamp. I am such a girl, so anything pink, sparkly, animal-printed, or feather-like immediately catches my eye.

 

 

 

I also LOVE lamps with tiny, crystal beads hanging down. I think they are so cute.

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I want to start a collection.  I already have 2, but I have the feeling if I bring anymore home, I may be sleeping with the turkey.

 

 

 

 

Maybe he and this guy can have a stare-down?

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Oh fuuuuudge. I can’t wait for the holidays! 🙂

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How Sweet It ISN’T.

Call me old fashioned.

 

My hubby and I didn’t live together before we got married. So when it came time for me to move in, he had to drag me kicking, screaming, and punching.

 

Why?

 

He was a bachelor. Had a MAJOR bachelor pad. I mean, this could rival most bachelor pads. And let’s not forget – he is a decade older than me, so his stuff was just…OLD.

But financially, it made sense to live there for a short time – we had plans to buy a house.

 

 

 

 

First up: boatloads of dye cast cars:

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Don’t think that’s alot? That is about 1/64th of the collection. Strewn about the small townhouse.

 

 

Some mini cars, lucky to still be living here:

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On the nice bookcase in the family room, sat these:

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We have alot of them.

 

 

 

I do like this guy:

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Sidney Crosby. What a hottie.

 

 

 

 

The downstairs wasn’t terrible. It was almost terrible. The whole place probably hadn’t been thoroughly cleaned since 1985.

 

 

 

No offense to my hubs. He was a bachelor, after all.

 

 

Let’s just say…How sweet it WASN’T.

 

 

 

Once you ventured up the spooky staircase and made your way into the bedroom, you were greeted by this guy:

 

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Yes, folks. That is a FRAMED (and autographed) picture of a WWF wrestler. OR WCW. Or whatever the heck it is. FRAMED.

 

 

IN A FRAME. With glass over it. HANGING ON THE WALL.

 

 

Who does this?

 

 

There were multiples. Including Chris Benoit, that nice wrestler that murdered his wife, dwarfed son, and then hung himself. Wouldn’t you want him, FRAMED, hanging on your wall?

 

 

Alas, I have allowed Mr. Hunt to hang some of his photos in his room:

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aka the garage.

 

 

I am fine with this. We all need our space.

 

 

 

However, there is one battle I did not win:

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He creeps the bejesus out of me.

 

 

 

There is no room for him in the garage. Not that I would move him there.

 

 

Do you know why?

 

 

 

Just look at how he stares at me.

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He would totally kill me in my sleep.

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